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What To Do After You Book a One-Way Ticket Away from Home
Looking out the plane window at your hometown with “Wake up” by Coheed and Cambria playing in your head may not be the happiest of moments in your life. But, it sure as hell is going to take you somewhere. So, if you’re like me, and you think avoiding your feelings for a friend is a perfectly rational reason to pack shit up and get on an aircraft, don’t worry. I got you. Below are my personal tips on how you can make the most out of your what-the-fuck-did-I-just-do decision.
So, you find yourself in a new place. So, you realize you have no idea what you’re doing there. That’s alright. There are still a lot of things that you can do to move yourself into finding a pleasant enough perspective so that you won’t dissolve into a complete (and, sobbing… while sober) mess in the airport.
Number one: appreciate. You’re not home, but that doesn’t mean you should feel out of place. Study says that being in a new place is one of the most efficient ways to get a fresh outlook on life. Yes, I made that up. But, it still holds true. Take everything and everybody around you, and look at how the whole thing is pieced together and how you can insert yourself into the puzzle. That’s right, get philosophical about it. Just refrain from bursting into an extemporaneous existential speech in public. I mean, there’s nothing wrong about that, but you don’t want to attract undue attention. That could lead to complications. Besides, you’ll have time for that later, when you’re rich and famous.
Number two: get to where you intend to stay. PLEASE DON’T TELL ME YOU HAVEN’T MADE ARRANGEMENTS PRIOR TO MOVING TO A NEW CITY. YOU DO HAVE A FRIEND OR A RELATIVE WHO LIVES IN THE PLACE YOU BOOKED YOUR FLIGHT TO, RIGHT? AND, YOU HAVE SPOKEN TO HIM/HER/THEM ABOUT PICKING YOU UP OR HELPING YOU FIND YOUR WAY AROUND? NO? WOW, MAN. YOU’RE EVEN MORE FUCKED UP THAN ME. CALL ME.
Now that you’ve taken your luggage and your gorgeous self to where you’ll be spending your days and nights in this fabulous adventure you’ve proactively set in motion, the next step is to get settled. This is bound to be difficult at first, especially if you’re the type who thinks working out the details of your stay (length, monthly rate, etc.,) is awfully boring. But you’ll find that diving into the icky world of technicalities is your best hope of injecting some logic into the entire process. And you’ll be giving yourself a place you can call your own. Who knows, as time goes by, it may even turn into some sort of home.
To ensure the continuation of your stay, you need to be able to pay for it, of course. You can get a job (if you don’t already have one), or you can ask your parents to transfer money every so often. Alternatively, you can… Look, just be accountable, alright? I’m not your fucking financial consultant.
Also, don’t forget to go out, meet people, and get interested in them. I don’t mean “find a boyfriend or a girlfriend (especially if the reason you left your hometown is because you already have feelings for one person, hahaha).” What I’m saying is, don’t hole up in your room and get increasingly pensive about the fact that a big majority of those you care about is not with you. You’re in an ideal position to find new people to talk to, become their friend, grow your social circle, and build an army to help you achieve your plans of world domination.
This is that shit that I don’t like. But, this is that shit that stops you from degenerating into a hoarder. To deal with this really incredibly dull piece of Muggle bullshit, reward yourself with nice things for every milestone that you accomplish.
For example, take a three-hour nap every after you finish washing the dishes. You can also devise a fun and quirky way of getting stuff done. Laundry? Wait until your pile has resembled Gollum’s cave before you run to the shop round the corner. Groceries? Hit the nearest 7-Eleven, buy the instant thingies, and ignore the voice in your head that says ‘If your mother can only see you now…’ Whatever you do, just minimize the instances of you shouting FUCK GENDER ROLES! when you’re cooking. And, if you set the smoke alarms ringing, panic and open the door but check to make sure you’re not in your underwear when you do so.
You see, there is a life to be had after you make a monumental error in judgment by departing from all that you’ve grown to love because of feelings. And, it may not be easy, considering that you may find yourself sitting back against the wall and sobbing to How To Save a Life on some mornings. But, it’s going to be worth it. You may wish you didn’t want to have to leave, but it’s the only way you can come home.
I’m always coming back, you can bet on that, you’re the only place I call home.